Letters to my Mum
(And things my Granny says)
hello Mum taday i lernt that when you joined tow picis of fabrick you well get a picher of what you were making.
hello Mum
again, i made a bear,it was FUN because you got too draw arand your hand and you
cut it out .
Next you get the picis of fabrick and soe it too gether too fit on your hand too see if it fits.
if it duse you need to put the eses on nose on mouth on eurs on and when you are just abaut finish after you tidy.
after you can play with the pupit you just made.
Granny said
(I believe she knows what she thinks she says, but she doesn't always say the things that she means!)
1)Cortege.
Once I saw a lot of big black cars all following one another very slowly. "What is that, Granny?", I asked.
She replied, "That's a Funeral Corsage"
2) Emaciated.
Did you know that Tom Hanks had to take time off during the filming of "Castaway" to lose weight, so that he
would look emancipated?
3) Alta-Vista.
"I'm just looking through that new Search Engine, "Hasta La Vista"
4) Why is Abbreviation such a long word?
5) It's not fair that there is an "S" in the word LISP.
6) Triads.
Gran, the new building opposite is for the Chinese Overseas Christians.
"Are you sure it's not those Hong Kong Tripods?"
7) Sciatica.
"Ouch! I just got a shooting pain down my back, I think I'm Getting Cystitis!"
8) Asteroid.
"I've just read in the newspaper that next year, the earth may be hit by a haemorrhoid."
9) The First day of Christmas
"What would you like for Christmas, Gran?"......"Perhaps a Babbage in a bare tree"